I could always find my way when you were here...

Today is the 5 year anniversary of my husbands death.

I have cried all day long.  The Oprah ugly cry.  The kind of crap I'm alone and sad and all I want is him cry.  My kid's don't know what today is.  They were way to little remember the date.  I think it's better that way.

I wish I could curl up in my ex's lap and cry until it was better.  I wish I could tell you how I feel...I wish I had the patience to write it out.  I'm just kind of all over the place today.  I wish I didn't feel so all by myself in it.  His mom forgot.  Who forgets the anniversary of their son's death...

I just...wish for better days.